Would Malarkey shingles survive a solar-powered zombie apocalypse?

Totally get where you're coming from. I’ve managed both shingle and green roofs, and honestly, the maintenance difference is night and day. When you’re dealing with a leak under a green roof, you’re basically on an excavation mission - pulling up plants, soil, maybe even irrigation lines, just to find the problem. With shingles, it’s usually just a matter of spotting the bad patch and swapping it out. Way less drama, especially if you’re dealing with unpredictable weather or, you know, zombies.

Malarkey shingles are pretty tough, too. I’ve seen them hold up to hail and some wild windstorms here in the Midwest. Still, I wonder about the long-term - after ten, fifteen years, even the best shingles can start to curl or lose granules. But at least you can patch them up without a full teardown.

Green roofs do have perks - less heat in the summer, better runoff control - but if you’re looking for something you can fix with basic tools and minimal hassle, shingles are just simpler. I guess it comes down to how much time and money you want to spend on upkeep.

If we’re talking about a solar-powered zombie apocalypse, I’m betting Malarkey shingles would at least outlast my last batch of DIY patch jobs. Here’s how I’d play it: 1) Wait for the first hailstorm or zombie horde, whichever comes first. 2) Check for missing shingles (or bite marks, I guess). 3) Slap on a replacement - no digging up rooftop gardens or wrestling with soggy dirt. Sure, after a decade or so, you’ll see some curling, but I’d rather patch a shingle than re-pot a rooftop tomato plant in the middle of a crisis.

Sure, after a decade or so, you’ll see some curling, but I’d rather patch a shingle than re-pot a rooftop tomato plant in the middle of a crisis.

Honestly, I’m with you there. I tried the whole rooftop garden thing once - let’s just say the squirrels had a better harvest than I did. At least with shingles, you know what you’re getting into: climb up, slap on a patch, and hope the next windstorm isn’t feeling ambitious. Malarkey’s held up better than my old three-tabs, anyway. Curling beats composting tomatoes any day.

At least with shingles, you know what you’re getting into: climb up, slap on a patch, and hope the next windstorm isn’t feeling ambitious.

That’s the truth. I’ve patched more than a few Malarkey roofs after a rough season, and honestly, they’re easier to work with than some of the older brands. Ever try to patch a brittle three-tab in January? Not fun. I do wonder sometimes if all these “impact resistant” claims really hold up long-term, though. Anyone else notice granule loss after a couple hailstorms, or is that just our Midwest weather chewing things up?

I’ve definitely seen granule loss after a couple of hailstorms, especially on the south-facing slopes. Midwest weather just loves to test your patience (and your roof). Ever notice how some patches seem to hold up better than others, or is that just luck of the draw?

- Midwest hail is brutal, no kidding.
- South-facing slopes always seem to get the worst of it - guess the sun and wind just wear things down faster.
- Some patches holding up better could be a mix of luck and maybe how the shingles were installed? I’ve seen spots where nails were a bit off and those areas lost granules quicker.
- Don’t get discouraged, though. Even the “tough” shingles take a beating out here.
- If you’re seeing a lot of loss, might be worth checking if your warranty covers hail damage... sometimes it does, sometimes not.
- Hang in there - Midwest roofs are like test pilots for shingle brands.

Not sure I totally buy that south-facing slopes always get the worst of it. I’ve seen plenty of north and west sides hammered just as bad, especially when storms roll in at an angle. Have you checked if attic ventilation or tree cover is playing a part? Sometimes it’s less about sun and more about airflow or debris. And yeah, nail placement matters, but I’ve also seen whole roofs go bald where the install was textbook... just depends on the storm’s mood, honestly.

Sometimes it’s less about sun and more about airflow or debris.

Yeah, I’ve noticed that too. On my uncle’s place, the north side actually lost more shingles last year than the south, even though everyone says the sun’s the big enemy. Turns out a big maple was dumping leaves up there and clogging the gutters, so water just sat and worked its way under. I guess storms just find the weak spots, no matter which direction they’re coming from. Nail placement helps, but sometimes it feels like luck of the draw.

I guess storms just find the weak spots, no matter which direction they’re coming from.

That’s the truth. Folks always blame the sun, but honestly, I’ve seen more rot and shingle curl from clogged gutters and poor ventilation than UV damage. Step one: keep those gutters clear. Step two: check for loose nails after every big wind, not just the sunny side. Sometimes it’s the shade that hides the trouble... and the zombies, if we’re being thematic.

You nailed it - gutters are way more important than most folks think. I used to just focus on the south side too, but after a storm ripped up some shingles on the north, I learned quick. Sometimes that shady spot’s the real problem area.

Sometimes that shady spot’s the real problem area.

That’s spot on. North-facing slopes tend to hold moisture longer, which can lead to algae, moss, and even faster shingle wear. I’ve seen Malarkey shingles hold up better than some brands, but nothing’s immune if water sits too long. Regularly clearing debris and checking for soft spots under the shingles helps catch issues early. Even the best shingles need a little help from good drainage and airflow.

I’ve got a patch on the north side that always seems damp, even after a week of sun. Tried scraping off the moss last spring, but it just came back. I’m curious - does anyone actually notice a difference with those algae-resistant shingles, or is it just marketing? I went with Malarkey for price and warranty, but sometimes I wonder if I should have splurged on metal instead... especially with all the shade from my neighbor’s trees.

I’ve got a patch on the north side that always seems damp, even after a week of sun.

That’s pretty typical for shaded north-facing slopes - moss and algae love the constant moisture. The algae-resistant shingles do help, but in heavy shade, their effect is limited. The copper or zinc granules embedded in them only go so far if the area never really dries out. Metal roofs shed debris better and don’t hold moisture, but the upfront costs are steep and you’d still have to deal with shade-related issues like leaf buildup. Malarkey’s warranty is solid, but if moss keeps coming back, regular cleanings might be unavoidable regardless of shingle type.

Yeah, that north-side dampness is a pain. Even with the algae-resistant shingles, I’ve seen moss creep back after a wet spring. I’ve tried copper strips near the ridge - helped a bit, but not a cure-all. Honestly, unless you’re up for regular cleanings, nothing’s totally maintenance-free in the shade. Metal’s great for shedding water, but I’ve seen leaves pile up and hold moisture anyway. Sometimes it just comes down to how much hassle you’re willing to deal with.

Tell me about it - north-facing anything is basically a moss spa in my neck of the woods. I swear, if there’s a patch of shade and a bit of moisture, you’ll have more green fuzz than a Chia Pet by June. I’ve tried the copper strips too and yeah, they help... until you get that extra-wet season and it’s back to power washing or scraping.

Honestly, even the “miracle” shingles are like, “eh, we’ll slow it down but not stop it.” Metal’s slick for rain but once those oak leaves settle in for a nap, there goes your drainage. Had one tenant try to DIY with some vinegar spray - let’s just say the roof smelled like salad for weeks and the moss didn’t care.

At this point, I figure roofs are like pets: you gotta feed ‘em (maintenance), clean up after ‘em, and occasionally yell at them when they misbehave. If Malarkey shingles can survive a zombie apocalypse, I’d be impressed... but I bet even zombies would slip on that north-side moss.

- North-facing moss is just... relentless. You could probably start a side hustle selling it as “artisan green roof accents.”
- Copper strips are like putting a tiny umbrella over a bonfire - good intentions, but mother nature’s got other plans.
- “Miracle” shingles? I’ve seen them slow the green tide, but yeah, never totally stop it.
- Vinegar roof salad... classic. I tried bleach once and just ended up bleaching my shirt instead.
- Maintenance is the name of the game. It’s never-ending, but hey, at least you’re not alone in the moss trenches.
- If zombies show up, maybe they’ll slip and leave your roof alone. Silver linings?

Maintenance is the name of the game. It’s never-ending, but hey, at least you’re not alone in the moss trenches.

Totally get this. Moss just laughs at my attempts to keep it off the north side, and I swear it comes back faster every year. Have you ever tried letting a little bit of moss stay for the “green roof” effect? I’ve read that some folks actually encourage it for insulation, though I’m not sure how that’d hold up in a zombie apocalypse... or with Malarkey shingles for that matter. Anyone notice if the algae-resistant ones actually make a dent, or is it just marketing?

- Moss is the ultimate comeback kid. You scrape it off, blink, and it’s back like it owns the place.
- I’ve seen folks lean into the “green roof” vibe, but honestly, unless you’re after that Hobbit aesthetic, it’s more trouble than it’s worth.
- Algae-resistant shingles do help some - less of those black streaks - but they’re not a force field. Moss still finds a way, especially on shaded sides.
- Malarkey holds up better than most in my experience, but nothing’s truly zombie-proof... or moss-proof for that matter.
- If you ever figure out a way to keep moss off for good, let me know. I’ll buy stock in it.

Malarkey’s definitely outlasted some of the other brands I’ve managed, but moss is just relentless, especially on north-facing slopes or under big trees. We tried zinc strips on a few properties - helped a bit, but not a miracle cure. Honestly, even with algae-resistant shingles, you’re still looking at regular maintenance if you want to keep things clean. If there’s ever a true moss-proof shingle, I’ll be first in line... but for now, it’s just part of the job.

North sides under trees are a nightmare for moss, I totally get it. One place I worked on, we tried scraping, then sprayed a moss killer, then added copper strips - still have to go back every year or two. I’ve seen Malarkey hold up better than some, but nothing’s bulletproof. If there’s a “set it and forget it” solution, I haven’t found it yet. Guess it’s just part of the gig, especially in damp climates.