Would Malarkey shingles survive a solar-powered zombie apocalypse?
Malarkey shingles are a solid choice, especially if you’re in a spot where winter just wrecks everything else. I’ve had them on my garage roof for about five years now—no leaks, no curling, and they handled last year’s ice dam season way better than the old three-tabs ever did. They’re heavier than some other brands, but that seems to help when the wind picks up.
Green roofs look cool, but yeah, unless you’re ready to babysit them year-round, it’s a lot of hassle. I tried a small patch on my shed once—turned into a mossy mess by spring. Shingles are just less headache in places with freeze-thaw cycles. As for zombie-proofing... well, I figure if the shingles hold up to hail and raccoons, they’ll probably outlast the undead too.
If you’re thinking about solar panels, Malarkey’s warranty still holds if you use approved mounting systems. Just make sure whoever installs them knows what they’re doing—bad mounts can wreck any roof, no matter the brand.
Malarkey’s been a lifesaver for me too, especially with the wild Midwest weather. I will say, though, the extra weight made installation a bit of a workout—my crew was grumbling for days. Anyone else notice they’re quieter in hailstorms? Or is that just wishful thinking on my part...
Solar panel mounts are a whole saga. Had one install where they missed the rafters and it turned into a leaky mess. Warranty or not, I triple-check those now. If zombies ever do show up, I’m betting on raccoons getting through first.
If zombies ever do show up, I’m betting on raccoons getting through first.
Honestly, raccoons are way more persistent than any zombie I’ve seen in the movies. Had one tear through a vent last spring—shingles held up, but the vent cover didn’t stand a chance.
I’ve noticed the same thing about hail. Malarkey shingles seem to muffle the noise a bit, or maybe it’s just wishful thinking after years of metal roof “ping pong.” Either way, my dog’s less freaked out during storms now, so that’s a win.
The weight is no joke, though. My crew grumbled too, but I’ll take a sore back over replacing blown-off tabs every other season. Midwest winds don’t mess around.
Solar mounts are a headache. I’ve started using those flashing kits that wrap around the mounts—takes longer, but I haven’t had a leak since. Still, I double-check every bolt. Learned that lesson the hard way after a surprise drip over my kitchen table...
If the apocalypse hits, I’m betting on the shingles outlasting my patience with wildlife.
I can vouch for the weight—installing Malarkey shingles was a workout, but I’d rather deal with that than chasing down loose shingles after every windstorm. Had a raccoon try to get into my attic last fall; it managed to bend the vent cover but didn’t get past the shingles. I’m not convinced they’re quieter in hail, though. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but I still hear plenty of noise during storms. Haven’t tackled solar yet, but reading about leaks makes me nervous... might hold off until I’m more confident with flashing.
Funny you mention the raccoon—I had squirrels try to chew through my old asphalt shingles, and they actually made it into the attic once. Swapped to Malarkey two years ago and haven’t had a critter problem since, so I’m with you on their toughness. About the hail noise, do you think it’s just the attic insulation making a difference? Or maybe the pitch of the roof? I’ve wondered if vent placement changes how much sound gets in during storms. As for solar, same hesitation here... not sure I trust anyone to cut into my roof without it turning into a leak magnet. Has anyone found a good way to double-check flashing after panels go up?