Would Malarkey shingles survive a solar-powered zombie apocalypse?

If you’re prepping for apocalypse-level stuff, I’d say focus on what’s under the hood first. Shingles are just the paint job.

Couldn’t agree more with this. I’ve seen folks spend a fortune on “eco” shingles or whatever’s trending, but then ignore the fact that their attic is basically a sauna and their sheathing is spongy from years of slow leaks. Doesn’t matter if it’s Malarkey or some off-brand - if your roof deck is mush, you’re toast.

Had a neighbor who went all-in on fancy “impact-resistant” shingles after a big storm. Looked great, but a year later he had mold creeping in because nobody bothered to check the old felt underneath. Meanwhile, my own roof’s just basic architectural asphalt, but I spent extra time making sure the ice & water shield was solid and swapped out every bit of sketchy flashing I could find. No leaks yet, knock on wood.

I do wonder sometimes if we put too much faith in the top layer. Maybe it’s just easier to see than what’s hiding underneath? Either way, I’d take a boring shingle over a flashy one if it means my roof isn’t secretly rotting away.

I get where you’re coming from - everyone’s obsessed with what’s visible, but if the decking is soft or ventilation’s bad, you’re just setting up for headaches. Curious if anyone here’s ever actually stripped a roof and found way worse rot than expected? I’ve only done tear-offs on a couple older houses, but it was wild how much hidden damage there was under “nice” shingles. Makes you rethink what really matters up there...

Yeah, I’ve run into that exact thing - looks fine from the street, but once you start pulling shingles, it’s a whole different story. Last year I helped a buddy tear off his 90s-era roof. The shingles were still lying flat, no curling or anything, but underneath? Total mess. Half the decking was spongy, and we found black mold in a couple spots near the ridge. Turns out his attic vents were basically useless, and the insulation was jammed right up to the soffits. He’d been patching leaks for years, but never thought to check the wood itself.

It’s wild how much gets hidden under “good” shingles. I get why people focus on what they can see, but honestly, I’m starting to think the underlayment and ventilation matter just as much as the shingle brand. I mean, you could have Malarkey, GAF, whatever - if the wood’s rotting or the attic’s a sauna, nothing’s gonna last. I’m in the Midwest, so we get ice dams and crazy humidity swings. I’ve started checking my attic every spring just to make sure nothing’s brewing up there.

Funny thing is, I used to think a thicker shingle was always better. Now I’m more worried about airflow and making sure water can actually get off the roof. Maybe that’s just getting older and having to pay for repairs myself... but yeah, I’d rather have a solid deck and good vents than “zombie-proof” shingles any day.

Curious if anyone’s tried those ridge vent systems that claim to fix everything? I’m tempted, but not sure if they’re worth the hype or just another thing to go wrong.

Ridge vents are one of those things that sound great in theory, but I’ve seen mixed results. On a few properties, they did help with attic temps and moisture, but only when the soffit vents were actually clear and the insulation wasn’t blocking airflow. If the intake’s choked off, ridge vents don’t do much - sometimes even make things worse by pulling conditioned air from the house. I’d say they’re not a magic fix, but if you’ve got proper intake and your roof’s not too cut up with dormers or valleys, they can be worth it. Just don’t expect miracles if the rest of the system isn’t dialed in.

I hear you on ridge vents not being a cure-all, but I’ve actually seen them work pretty well even on roofs with a few dormers - provided the installer didn’t just slap ‘em on and call it a day. Sometimes folks get too hung up on perfect intake, but in my area (humid summers, wild winters), even less-than-ideal setups have helped with ice damming and attic funk. Not saying they’re foolproof, but I wouldn’t write them off if your roofline’s a bit quirky. Just gotta keep an eye out for those insulation dams... had one house where the “vent” was basically just a squirrel condo.

Ridge vents are like the Swiss Army knife of roof ventilation - handy, but only if you use ‘em right. I’ve seen ‘em work wonders on some pretty funky rooflines, dormers and all, but you’re spot on about the install. If the intake’s blocked or the insulation’s piled up, you might as well just invite the squirrels in for a housewarming party. My trick is always to double-check the baffles and make sure nothing’s clogging up the airflow. Not perfect, but better than sweating through another attic sauna in July.

Had a house last summer where the ridge vent was technically there, but insulation had drifted right up against it - zero airflow. Owners couldn’t figure out why their attic felt like a sauna. Once we cleared the baffles and opened things up, temps dropped by 15 degrees. Ridge vents are great, but only if the intake’s actually working. Malarkey shingles can take a beating, but even they won’t help much if the attic’s cooking from bad ventilation.

I get the whole ridge vent thing, but I’ve honestly seen just as many problems with them as solutions. Maybe it’s the way some houses are built around here - older homes, weird rooflines, not enough soffit vents to actually let air in. You can clear baffles all day, but if there’s nowhere for air to come from, that ridge vent isn’t doing much except looking fancy.

Malarkey shingles are tough, sure, but I still think folks overestimate what a shingle can really handle if the attic’s basically an oven. Had a place last fall where the homeowner swore by their “bulletproof” shingles, but their HVAC was working overtime and they had ice dams by January. Turned out their intake vents were painted shut - no airflow at all.

Maybe I’m just jaded from seeing too many DIY jobs gone sideways, but I’d rather have decent ventilation and basic shingles than top-shelf shingles on a house that can’t breathe. Sometimes simpler is better… or at least less likely to cook your roof from the inside out.

Totally get where you’re coming from. I’ve seen plenty of “premium” shingles fail way faster than expected just because the attic was basically a sauna. Ventilation gets overlooked all the time, especially in older homes with chopped-up rooflines or painted-over soffits (I’ve had to pry more than a few open myself). Honestly, I’d rather have a basic shingle and a well-vented attic than the fanciest shingle on a house that can’t breathe. Shingles can only do so much if the heat’s trapped underneath - no magic material’s gonna save you from that.

Honestly, I’d rather have a basic shingle and a well-vented attic than the fanciest shingle on a house that can’t breathe.

Couldn’t agree more with this. I’ve seen “lifetime” shingles curl up like potato chips after just a few summers because the attic was basically an oven. I always wonder - how many folks actually check their soffit vents before dropping cash on fancy shingles? I’ve had tenants call about leaks, and half the time it’s not the roof, it’s condensation from poor airflow. Anyone ever try those solar attic fans? I’m skeptical, but maybe they’d help in a zombie apocalypse...

- Just bought my first place last year and honestly, attic ventilation wasn’t even on my radar until I started reading threads like this.
- My inspector waved at the soffit vents and said “looks fine,” but now I’m wondering if I should actually check them for blockages or insulation stuffed in there...
- Solar attic fans sound cool, but do they really move enough air? Or just enough to make it feel like you’re “doing something” about heat?
- Kinda wild that condensation can cause leaks too. I always thought a leak was…well, a hole.
- If zombies show up, I’ll be more worried about roof access than shingle brands, but hey - maybe Malarkey will outlast us all.

My inspector waved at the soffit vents and said “looks fine,” but now I’m wondering if I should actually check them for blockages or insulation stuffed in there...

Definitely worth checking. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen “looks fine” turn into blocked vents from insulation or even bird nests. If those soffits are clogged, your attic’s basically a sauna in summer and a condensation trap in winter. As for solar attic fans - they’re better than nothing, but don’t expect miracles. They help move air, but only if your intake (soffits) is clear. Otherwise, you’re just recirculating hot air.

And yeah, condensation can absolutely mimic a leak. Seen plenty of ceilings stained from trapped moisture, not rain. Shingles might outlast zombies, but poor ventilation will take out your roof way before the undead do.

That’s spot on about soffit vents - visual checks aren’t enough. I’ve seen insulation baffles get knocked loose or even critters nesting up there, and you’d never know until you poke around. One thing I’d add: even if your shingles are top-tier, like Malarkey or whatever, they’re only as good as the ventilation system beneath them. I’ve inspected roofs where the shingles looked pristine, but the decking was rotting from the inside out due to trapped moisture. Solar fans can help, but if the intake’s blocked, you’re just moving stale air around. It’s worth crawling up there and making sure nothing’s stuffed in those vents... saves a lot of headaches down the line.

- Gotta say, I’m always a little skeptical when folks talk about “bulletproof” shingles, even Malarkey. Sure, they’re tough, but if your attic’s basically a sauna because the soffit vents are blocked with old insulation or squirrel condos, those fancy shingles are just window dressing.

- I’ve seen it: neighbor had premium shingles (not sure if they were Malarkey or CertainTeed), but the plywood underneath was so soft you could poke a screwdriver through it. Looked fine from the street - total disaster once you got up there. All because the intake vents were stuffed with insulation and spiderwebs.

- Solar fans? Cool idea in theory, but if you’re not getting fresh air in from below, you’re just spinning your wheels. Literally. It’s like trying to air out your gym bag with the zipper closed.

- If we’re talking zombie apocalypse… I guess solar fans would still run (assuming zombies don’t chew through the wiring), but honestly, I’d be more worried about raccoons than zombies when it comes to attic damage.

- One thing that’s helped me: every spring, I pop my head up in the attic and check for daylight coming through the soffits. If it’s dark? Time to dig around and clear stuff out. Not fun, but less hassle than replacing decking.

- And yeah, even “green” roofs need airflow. Doesn’t matter if you’ve got recycled-content shingles or a living roof - if moisture gets trapped, you’re toast.

- TL;DR: Shingles might survive zombies, but they won’t survive bad ventilation and soggy decking for long. Ventilation first, fancy shingles second… at least that’s how I see it.

I’m with you on the “fancy shingles can’t save a soggy roof” thing. I got sucked into the Malarkey hype a couple years ago - figured if I was gonna shell out for new shingles, might as well get the ones that sound like they could survive a meteor shower. Fast forward to last summer, and I’m up in the attic sweating buckets, poking around because my ceiling started looking like a Rorschach test after a rainstorm. Turns out, half my soffit vents were blocked by insulation some previous genius stuffed in there “for efficiency.” Yeah, efficient at trapping moisture.

Cleared it all out, and honestly, the difference was wild. My AC didn’t have to work as hard, and the attic didn’t feel like a steam room anymore. Shingles still look good, but I’m convinced it’s only because I finally let the thing breathe.

If zombies ever do show up, I hope they’re more interested in brains than raccoons or attic insulation. At least then my roof might stand a chance… but only if those soffits stay clear.

“figured if I was gonna shell out for new shingles, might as well get the ones that sound like they could survive a meteor shower.”

I’ve seen folks spend a fortune on “indestructible” shingles, then ignore the basics like ventilation or flashing. Doesn’t matter how tough the brand is - if your attic’s sweating, you’re just asking for trouble. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve found insulation stuffed right up against soffits. It’s like people think their roof’s a submarine or something. Give it some air and half your problems disappear... zombies or not.

Doesn’t matter how tough the brand is - if your attic’s sweating, you’re just asking for trouble.

That’s true to a point, but I wouldn’t write off the value of a high-end shingle either. I’ve seen Malarkey and similar brands take a beating in hail storms where cheaper shingles just shredded. Ventilation and flashing are critical, no argument there, but if you’re in a spot that gets regular wind or hail, the shingle itself can make a real difference.

Had a client last year - brand new roof, top-tier shingles, but the installer skipped proper flashing around a dormer. Guess what leaked first? Not the shingles. Still, after we fixed the flashing, those shingles held up through two nasty storms without a scratch.

I’d say it’s not either/or. You need both: solid materials and good install practices. Otherwise, you’re just rolling the dice, no matter how “zombie-proof” the marketing sounds.

I’ve inspected plenty of roofs where folks spent a fortune on premium shingles, but then cut corners on ventilation or flashing. Doesn’t matter if it’s Malarkey or any other “bulletproof” brand - if the attic’s trapping moisture, you’ll get rot and mold long before the shingles ever fail. That said, I’ve also seen those higher-end shingles shrug off hail that tore up the neighbor’s roof. It’s a package deal: quality materials, yes, but only if the install and airflow are dialed in. Otherwise, you’re just setting yourself up for headaches down the line.

- Malarkey shingles do hold up better than most, especially when it comes to hail and wind. That’s been my experience after a few Midwest storms.
- But yeah, if you don’t have proper attic venting or you skip on quality flashing, even the toughest shingle won’t save you from rot. Seen some “indestructible” roofs with moldy decking underneath.
- If we’re talking zombie-proof? Maybe… if the install is airtight and you keep moisture in check. Solar-powered zombies might be the least of your worries compared to trapped heat and condensation.
- For long-term survival (apocalypse or just regular life), it’s really about the whole system - shingles, airflow, underlayment, all of it working together.

I’ve managed a few properties with Malarkey shingles, and I’ll back up what’s been said - they’re tough as nails in wind and hail. But honestly, I’ve seen more roofs fail from poor ventilation or bad flashing than from the shingles themselves. People get so hung up on the brand or the “impact rating,” but if you’ve got hot, stagnant air in your attic or water sneaking in around a chimney, it’s game over for your decking, no matter how “zombie-proof” the shingles claim to be.

One thing I’d add: underlayment matters way more than most folks realize. I had a place where the shingles held up after a nasty storm, but cheap underlayment let water creep in and rot out the sheathing. That was a mess to fix. If you’re prepping for the apocalypse (or just Midwest weather), don’t cheap out on the stuff you can’t see.

And yeah, solar-powered zombies aside, trapped heat and moisture will eat your roof alive faster than any monster. It’s all about the system working together - shingles are just one piece of it.